Today is infant & pregnancy loss remembrance day. no matter what, I will always celebrate my tiny "what if" every day, especially today.
It's different than last year; last year, everything was so fresh and I really didn't think I would be OK again. Finding out my baby didn't have a heartbeat at our first ultrasound was the hardest thing I've had to accept. It took away all my joy and hope. I finally got in touch with a therapist because I needed help processing the extraordinary empty, isolated feeling I had.
I was so happy that Color Street came out with a set this year to honor infant & pregnancy loss, called Never Forgotten. Everyone grieves differently, but this set is so meaningful to so many, and I've been able to connect with so many more ladies about their stories. Wearing this set proudly today <3 To all the other parents who have experienced loss: I send you all the love, especially today. I see you. I feel you.
Pictured: the book I received at my ultrasound and a copy of the form to release the remains of my baby to the hospital so pathology could test them. I chose to take the "pill" to pass the remains of my child as I was advised it was safer than a D&C (operation). I wish I would have done the D&C, because I was not prepared for the 24 hours I experienced following the pill. It induces labor, and I had contractions for 6 hours. It was the most traumatizing and painful day of my life.
